About

I love to travel solo. This wasn’t always the case. I was married for almost 20 years and my ex and I took the most fabulous trips to far flung places. When I found myself unexpectedly divorced 9 years ago I decided that if I wanted to have the kinds of holidays that I enjoyed I would have to take a leap of faith and travel solo. As a women it can definitely be a bit tricky to get the best out of the experience, and certainly a little unnerving if you are at a ‘certain age’ when considering it for the first time. Everything from choosing where to go, where to stay, where to eat, how to best see the sights, through to avoiding being the single person that the boring couple takes pity on and insists on including in all their meals! I don’t want to backpack or share a room and I don’t want to be herded around in a group following a strict, inflexible itinerary, but I do want to be safe and have some fun.  I remember how scary it felt and how nervous I was when I took my first solo trip, but it ended up being the most fabulous experience, etched in my memory for ever more (which is good because I dropped my camera overboard as I took a ferry to a remote dive island losing my camera and all my wonderful photos)  and from then on I was hooked!

Follow my blog and read my updates as I share my tips, tricks, and anecdotes on how to get the best out of travelling solo. 

If you’d like to know a bit more about me you can check out http://www.deborahives.com

5 thoughts on “About

  • Hi Deborah, so nice to read about you. Thank you for the FB group.. it has truly been extremely helpful for me as a solo traveler over 50.
    During my marriage of 24 years I didn’t have the opportunity to travel, so now I am playing catch up.

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  • I love this concept, and I want to travel.. but I literally have no one. Divorced, grown kids, transplanted to a small town where everyone has family (and they’re not open to outsiders..polite, but not friendly). It feels empty to travel and not have anyone to share with (and not care if I arrive safely…or ever make it back). Any advice to change my perspective? Thanks.

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    • Hello Mary,
      Thanks for your message. I would suggest that you start your solo travel in a small organised group – either all female or mixed. I travel that way sometimes for various reasons – scuba diving, volunteering, going to places where I’d feel more comfortable in a group – and I’ve had some amazing experiences. I’ve always left with some firm friends and it just helps if you’re feeling nervous in any way. Having said that, even when I travel completely alone, I always meet people along the way and you never have to feel alone, unless you want to. Hope you find the courage to take the plunge – you won’t regret it!

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  • Hi Deborah.
    Thanks for the Facebook group that I’ve just ask to be a member of. Seems like a good idea….and a bit different from other female-travelers groups. Do you know “Host a Sister”? I’ve never used it myself, but a friend of mine has.
    As you I started solo-traveling when I divorced after 32 years marriage. I was 63 when I joined a small group to Thailand. It was OK – but ever since I’ve preferred to be on my own…e.g. in Central America, India and Mexico. I feel much more free and independent, and have learned A LOT by organizing everything myself.
    I’m using Couchsurfing and it means that I never feel really alone. I’ve made great friendships through CS! If CS isn’t possible I often stay in humble hostels, where other travelers mostly are interested in good company and a nice chat. Opposite fancy hotels, where couples / families often close in on themselves.
    I’m looking forward to be a member of the FB group.

    Cheers Birte Oksen Moeller

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  • I traveled solo for almost a year. Was in india when the tsanumi hit. Almost at the beach resort where I was supposed to meet some friends I had met in Goa. I had rented a car and driver. As we approached the area of the resort, the police stopped us and barred the way, saying the beach was flooded. They didn’t yet have the word tsunami. No internet, no radio, no tv. My driver found a guest house where we could stay, but no one had the words to explain what had happened. It took 24 hours more, before we got word of the disaster. I decided to travel back to Goa, and from there to ultimately make plans to travel back home to the US. VERY difficult because india was in chaos everywhere. It took two weeks to get a flight out, as photos were posted all over, everywhere, of the missing. I never heard from the friends I was supposed to have met at the beach resort on that Christmas Day. A family with 2 young children, from England. The trip back to the US was chaotic as everything in India had been. The plane packed full. The airport jammed with people demanding service. People everywhere crying. I had been traveling solo for almost 6 months then, but was so happy to get back home. And try as I might over the years, I’ve never received a reply to the emails I’ve sent to those friends I was to meet up with at that beach resort. I haven’t traveled anywhere since. Instead, I bought a dog, built a house in a woods, on a lake, and opened up an office where I began, again, practicing law. The itch to travel is on me again. But how to disentangle from the ties that keep me: the dog, the work, the fear of natural disasters that can happen anywhere.

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